四首歌 Four Songs

2014 年出《那些殺死你的都並不致命》時上某電台節目的功課：選四首歌。人生主題歌。

找出檔案，只有三首。

4 Songs

Joni Mitchell, 1969, Both Side Now
Joni Mitchell, 1970, Both Side Now
Joni Michell, 2000, Both Side now

Joni Mitchell - Both Side Now



Rows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
像是天使的秀髮、像是用冰淇淋在空中堆成的城堡
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
還有羽毛般的峽谷…我曾經是那樣看雲的。
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
但現在我只看到烏雲遮住了陽光，降下了雨雪，
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.
我原有那麼多夢想可以實現，但雲朵擋住了路。

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
我看過了雲朵的兩面，
From up and down, and still somehow
從上從下，然而
It's cloud illusions i recall.
我想這只是雲的幻影，
I really don't know clouds at all.
我其實一點都不懂雲

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
像明月、像六月、像摩天輪，狂舞後的暈眩感覺，
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
所有童話故事都會成真，我曾經那樣看待愛情。
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
但現在那只是一場戲，你在他們的笑聲中下台一鞠躬。
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.
如果你在意，別讓他們知道，別吐露你真正的感受。

I've looked at love from both sides now,
我從兩面看過了愛情，
From give and take, and still somehow
從付出與得到，然而
It's love's illusions i recall.
我想那只是愛情的幻象，
I really don't know love at all.
我其實一點都不了解愛情

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
帶著淚水與恐懼，驕傲地大聲說出「我愛你」
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
夢想、計畫、與馬戲團的人潮，我曾那樣看待生活。
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
但現在老朋友表現地很彆扭，他們搖著頭，說我變了。
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.
有失必有得，日常生活就是這樣。

I've looked at life from both sides now,
我看過了人生的兩面，
From win and lose, and still somehow
從勝利與失敗，然而
It's life's illusions i recall.
我想這只是人生的假象，
I really don't know life at all.
我其實一點都不了解人生

To me, both sides now isn't so much a coming of age song. If it were, it would mean that the author's point of view evolved from one earlier naive state to a more enlightened state through experience. In other words, it would mean that the protagonist used to see clouds & love as beautiful, and after subsequent experiences saw them in a different & more realistic light. While the coming of age/changing perspective thing is the subject of the verses; the chorus goes beyond that by adding that although she has seen things for what they really are, she continues to choose illusion over reality.

I think both sides now is a song about illusion versus reality from the point of view of a dreamer. Even when experience teaches the true nature of something, the dreamer can continue to live with their illusions about life and love. The dreamer seems doomed to repeat the same mistakes by choosing to sugar coat the true nature of life and love with their own romantic illusionment. Even this has a duality: you can look at it as being hopeful or unrealistic.


Jon Brion - Little person《紐約浮世繪》



discusses the monotony of life. The simple, trivial happenstances of human existence, feeling insignificant, and ultimately the loneliness of being human at one time or another.

I'm just a little person
One person in a sea
Of many little people
Who are not aware of me

我只是一個小人物
人海中的一位
所有人中之一
誰會注意我呢

I do my little job
And live my little life
Eat my little meals
Miss my little kid and wife

做我的小工作
活我的小生活
吃我的早中晚
想妻子和孩子

And somewhere, maybe someday
Maybe somewhere far away
I'll find a second little person
Who will look at me and say

某處 某日
或許 遠處
會有個人
看進我心
說

"I know you
You're the one I've waited for
Let's have some fun."

“我懂你
你就是我等的人
來吧”

Life is precious every minute
And more precious with you in it
So let's have some fun

人生多麼難得
尤其有你再這
來吧我們享受

We'll take a road trip way out west
You're the one I like the best
I'm glad I've found you
Like hangin' 'round you
You're the one I like the best

我們向西而行
我最喜歡你
多好  你出現
在你身邊 親愛
世上我最喜歡你。


Pete Doherty - Ballad of Grimaldi



While there's still a fighting chance
Can't you just get up and go
And get away from this hollow romance
It's slowly binding us both
Because you'll tell me what you want and I'll avoid it
Tell it to the sick and to the damned
Show me what you love, watch me destroy it
For love just crumbles in my hands

趁著還有機會
你何不離開呢
離開空洞的情懷
逐漸將你我鎖入的假象
你想要的我都避免
你所愛，我盡毀滅
我總是這樣

But if you stay for a while..
I'll try to think of something kind to say
And maybe if we pray for a while
St. Jude might hear my pleas
And see me on my knees

但如果你留下...
或許我能說出溫柔的話
或許我們一起禱告
無望聖徒都能聽見我
看見我虔誠跪下

Because she knows how I adore you
We won't be fighting again tonight
Not if she knows I adore you
No fighting again tonight..

她知道我崇拜你
今晚別再吵架
如果她不知道我崇拜你
也別吵了吧 今夜...

I laugh and fall just like Grimaldi
You wear your make-up like Baby Jane
All of those promising lies that you told me
Come on and tell me them again

我笑啊跌倒像小丑
你也塗了滿臉假象
你告訴我的謊言啊
來吧再對我說一次

Oh well, I walked these streets all of my life..
The fear and hope at every turn
She took him to Stepney and made him a wife
oh you know yeah you know they'll crash and burn

好吧，我早已走過這些路
每個轉角都是恐懼或希望
她帶她去她家 他是丈夫
好吧 但我等你毀壞 你會

Because she'll tell him what she wants and he'll avoid it
May as well tell it to the sick and to the damned
Show him what you love, watch him destroy it
For love seems to crumble in his hand

她會對他索求 他無理
不如告訴傻的痴的
提醒他 他所愛
他盡毀滅
他就是這樣

Joseph Grimaldi (1778-1837) was the world's first 'white-face' clown. He took the character of 'Clown' from a style of play called a Harlequinade, originally a country bumpkin fool character Grimaldi gave him the painted face and brightly coloured colthes we know as clowns today. Grimaldi was, quite simply, a comedy genius.

Joseph's father, Jo Grimaldi, was a strict teacher who used to savagely beat Joseph as a child when he made mistakes in the routines. As a result Joseph grew up a manic depressive, giving rise to the legend of the brilliant entertainer who was a depressive in his private life. A pattern that has repeated itself over the centuries. The love of Grimaldi's life died giving birth. He never recovered from this.

St Jude is the patron saint of hopeless cases.

The song is a lament, a hopeless case of being in love with someone you can never have and hiding your sadness behind a wall of laughter.


雖然沒有詞，但以此結束吧。

Arcade Fire - Song On The Beach

靈感角落

腦中時常有這個畫面，女子一人坐著火車，外面的景色唰唰飛過，光切割的樹林，急轉的大河，鄰近的小站，從一地到另一地中間，彷彿一切都有選擇，彷彿還有無限可能。

各種人物、畫面在移動時來拜訪我。它們在巨大的書桌前誕生，卻往往在各類交通工具上形成。像跨越海洋的長途飛機，幾百個人吃飽喝足了關暗了燈，窗外空氣那轟轟提醒你坐在高空的一鐵盒子，獨立的閱讀燈打在周身像引導獨白，感知瞬間變得敏銳，各種想法自動靠來。這一點預期到的自由總讓人在進關前還有情有義，過了關頓時沒心沒肝。八九百公里的速度可以拋去很多事情，十幾個小時讓你把前人往事拋諸窗外無名星空、地圖與黑海，更有空間浮想聯翩，無中生有。

那火車上的女子想著什麼？她是離家或歸家，旅行或通勤？她凝望的窗外景色是否如巨型卷軸繪進她腦裡，或是她徑自在腦中播放著某種想像或記憶？是否有人在某處等她，或她正在逃亡的路上？一切的故事都能從這裡開始，而我隨時都能坐上那部火車。

－ 原載於《聯合文學》2017 四月份